you said that you
couldn’t live without me,
but what if you could
live without me?
what if you happened to be
a person all your own?
would you still stay?
For as long as I’d known her,
she’d been swearing that
love was neither existent, nor relevant.
She sold it well, too,
contending with anyone brave enough to disagree.
But one day, her notebook slipped from her grasp.
As it fell to the ground, its pages flipped,
becoming visible to any keen eye.
The pages were filled with hand-drawn hearts,
hearts etched with her initials,
and then an ampersand,
and then a blank space.
I grabbed the notebook and handed it to her,
half of me pretending to be none the wiser,
and the other half wishing to inhabit her blank spaces.
because we are unsure
of what we want,
we die over and over again,
choosing neither life, nor separation
we are stuck in a
perpetual state of Autumn
always beautiful, and
maybe we should have just
shared our little moment in the rain
and then moved on,
instead of mistaking dumb luck
for fate and love, and
torturing ourselves in the process
if my voice was loud enough
and my heart strong enough,
i could call out for you right now,
and you would hear me.
so why does the moon seem
closer tonight, than you do?
i had just began settling
into my solitude
before you came along
i wanted no one
and craved nothing
except the autumn season
but now that it’s finally time
for the leaves to die
that beautiful death
my longing for their color
has faded into the shadows
of my thirst for your raised brow
my lust for your carnal warmth
and my hunger for the jade darkness
in your eyes
there is always smoke
after a fire is quenched,
and that is how our love endures,
no longer a burning flame,
but a sweet-smelling aroma
i’ll toss this magic coin into the Autumn sky,
and whoever i am with,
when the coins returns with the first snowfall,
i will choose to love her
but so what?
when she tells me that she misses me
and i just say, “i know”
but it’s not because i’m conceited,
it’s because i’m already on my way home
i touched the face of the sun
and chased every other star in the sky,
but they always eventually disappear,
so i’m so glad you’ve stuck around